Dating as an acoa chinese calendar dating

Your partner might still be actively trying to get their parent into treatment, or your partner may have come to a place where they no longer try to intervene.

Either way, this situation affects your partner’s mental health.

It also leaves you highly sensitive to criticism and conflict.

You work hard, always trying to prove your worth and make others happy.

mean your partner has a mental illness, but the effects of having an alcoholic parent can greatly affect your partner’s mental health, especially if the parent is still abusing alcohol (or other substances…addiction does not discriminate!

) The effects of parental substance abuse are far-reaching and often last for the adult child’s entire life.

Because life felt out of control and unpredictable, as an adult you try to control everyone and everything that feels out of control (which is a lot).

You never knew who would be there or what mood they’d be in when you came home from school. There may have been a lot of overt tension and conflict.

As a child, your partner may have had the following characteristics: On the other hand, your partner may have swung to the other end of the spectrum, trying to make everything perfect, being the peacemaker in the family, striving for perfectionism, taking on adult responsibilities, and denying their own needs in favor of protecting the alcoholic parent.

The Adult Children of Alcoholics website has a list of fourteen characteristics of ACOAs, called “The Laundry List.” Either way, it’s likely some of these characteristics have lingered into your partner’s adult personality, and may be showing up in your relationship.

You struggle to express yourself, subconsciously remembering how unsafe it was to speak up in your family.

◊♦◊ Being rigid and inflexible You have a hard time with transitions and changes. Difficulty trusting and being closed off People have let you down and hurt you.

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