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As a child, you love this person so intensely and are so dependent on them.

Then there’s the inevitable fact that they are emotionally incapable of demonstrating their love in a way that will seep into your bones the way kids need it to.

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I was vulnerable in a way that I’ve never been again. An alcoholic doesn’t always look like a gutter rat.

Just to be safe, I tend to abstain from alcohol for the most part. (Read that several times if you need to.) • Your phone calls/texts/emails will go unanswered, unreturned and ignored if an alcoholic is overwhelmed, overworked or feels unappreciated. • The thing is, even if an alcoholic is in program, and running a decent one, they are still human and imperfect.

My boyfriend was violent and angry and his family couldn’t stand him. Despite obvious signs that he was cheating on me, including women’s phone numbers in the pockets of his jeans, folded up flyers to strip clubs and the monthly solo road trips he took to San Francisco to “clear his mind,” I simply refused to act on my suspicions. My mind—or the “danger zone” as I liked to call it—was simply not a safe place for me to be without the distraction of a man. I joke that I can find a room filled with 100 people and instantly be drawn to the ones who have a drinking problem. • If an alcoholic cannot handle the topic of conversation, they will ignore it (and you). • Alcoholics fear they are not going to live up to your fantasy of them. • I will always have a soft spot for alcoholics because the first person I loved was one.

Although I never plan on dating an alcoholic or addict, my attraction to them is uncanny—I joke that I can find a room filled with 100 people and instantly be drawn to the ones with a drinking problem.

Growing up in a home with an alcoholic parent is a unique kind of rough.

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